Why Single Moms Should Spend Quality Time with Her Children
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Do you struggle with feeling your kids don't get enough individual quality time with you? Well, I'm sure you're not the only single mom who has felt that way. Finding time for ourselves is trouble enough, how often do we stop and think about the individual attention our children require from us as well?
We need to acknowledge that each child is different and we need to learn to embrace their individual needs. The benefits alone can have an enormous impact on the overall structure and vibe of your home. Please note that these outings do not always need to be over the top, but do keep in mind each child's personal interest.
I'm basically a solo mom (a mom who is raising her kids on her own without co-parent support) and I barely get enough time for myself, let alone time for individual playdates. Well, after taking my daughter out on her own, I understood how important it is to continue to one-on-one time with each of my children. Please know that you do not have to do this every day, that's just not possible nor do you need to spend a ton of money to do it.
Our children crave our attention and when you have multiple kids, scheduling all the things can be challenging, but necessary. Our kids grow up so fast, we can't let these crucial moments slip through our fingers. So here are four reasons why single moms (meaning YOU) should spend one-on-one quality time with each of your children.
Establishes Individual Relationships with Each Child
Taking your child out solo makes her feel special. When you have multiple children, it may appear to some that mommy values one more than the other. Though we know this is not intentional, our children tend to feel different.
What prompted me to start these individual play dates with my children was when my daughter said, "You never listen to me, you only listen to Pey Pey and Blakey". At the time I thought she was being a tad overdramatic but after careful observation, she really did feel this way.
Spending quality time Gives Each Child a Chance to Speak Freely without Judgement or Backlash from Their Siblings
When you consistently schedule time with each child you are saying that you are always there for them. He then will feel comfortable talking to you about what's going on in school or at after-school care without his siblings there to make fun. If they are hurt or really struggling with something you want to be there for him to speak in a more free and trusting environment.
You Can't Get Back The Time You've Lost
Your children's childhood passes so quickly before your eyes now, you often wonder how your newborn morphed into a grade schooler so quickly. You can't get back this time. The older kids get, the less time they want to spend with their parents, so make it happen now while they still want you. Harsh I know, but we've all been there.
One minute you're the center of their universe, next thing you know you're watching Netflix alone and checking your watch for curfew violations.
quality time tells Your Child That You Love Them and That There Are No Favorites
By spending individual time with your child apart from his siblings tell him that they are loved. Like how we crave the love of our partners, our children crave our attention and affections as well. Think of it like this, imagine your partner makes time for all others except for you.
He comes home to you and you do the same mundane boring things day after day, and over time you don't feel loved. With children, especially children in single-parent households, this can have a very negative effect and could affect future relationships outside the home
Remember these one-on-one dates are so important. It communicates to each child that they are valued individually and that you took the time to pay attention to their specific interest.
So you want to make sure each of your children gets special time with you, but struggle to make it happen in the day to day it probably comes down to one thing: planning.
Leave a comment below and let me know how you've been spending individual quality time with your kiddos!