Encouraging Relationships with Absent Fathers
SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 004
In today's episode, I talk about the psychological effects of growing up fatherless. Children require love and support from both parents, and unfortunately, that's not always the case. Many single moms struggle with whether or not to keep trying to get absent fathers to play a more active role in their children's lives. For most, it's an obvious choice. While other moms know that their child would benefit from having both parents in their life.
Even though we recognize that children do have the right to see their dad, if there is a legitimate safety concern, or he's not that stable, I wouldn't encourage a relationship. Children need stability and they need to be able to rely on their fathers.
At the same time, fatherless children are more susceptible to depression, perform poorly in school, have low self-esteem, prone to aggression, may commit suicide or incarceration. Statistics reveal that girls are more inclined to abuse drugs, while boys become more aggressive.
Men and women parent differently. Eliminating the father all together does give children a disadvantage. Some mothers choose to simplify their words, while fathers use no filters.
Children will need to understand both styles as they enter the adult world. Additionally, fathers help children prepare for the brutality of the real world, while mothers strive to shield them from it. This will also be necessary when entering into adulthood.
It takes a Village
In a situation where it's not possible for the bio dad to be present for these lessons, remember community. It takes a village to raise a child. Do you have mentors, coaches, brothers, cousins or uncles that would make the perfect stand-in positive role model for your child?
These men can help guide your child and give him a new outlook on the world that can neutralize the risks of growing up in a single-parent home. Young boys who have a father figure in their lives are less likely to act out. While our girls tend to be more confident.
Understanding the psychological damage having an absent father does
Hear about the difference in parenting styles
Learn how to utilize the community around you