Why I Hate Being A Single Mom Most Days
Single Motherhood has been one of the hardest jobs I have ever had. My whole life now revolves around the care and well being of 3 tiny humans. In the beginning of my separation from their father, I felt like I was drowning.
I was completely overwhelmed adjusting to life with a preschooler, a toddler, and a newborn baby. Never could have imagined that I would be doing this alone. Some days I'm completely driven by my love for them, and most days, I really hate being a single mom.
Now I'm not one to ever really complain about how much I hate being a single mother, but I won't be shamed for having these feelings either. And neither should you. We did not have children just to raise them alone. Though we CAN, we were not meant to.
I have days when I'm totally loving motherhood and days when I just totally resent him for being so damn selfish. As mothers, well for some, we don't have the option to turn away from our obligation as mothers. I would never want to though, my babies are amazing.
The person who I need the most support from is not here, and every day I'm left raising my children on my own. I use to spend much energy trying to get him to visit them because he's missing it all. All I got was reasons why he can't and that made me very angry and resentful. Til this day I still live this struggle, except I no longer ask when his next visit will be because that generally gets me nowhere.
Over time I had to learn to lean on my family. It wasn't easy at first. I felt like I was burdening them with my problems, and that I should deal with the life I have created for myself. A few months ago I finally realized that is what family does; be there for you for the good and the bad. I am a full-time single mom and I don't get a lot of alone time. It truly does take a village to raise a child, and I have three, so I could use all the support I can get.
No Financial Freedom
Every month I worry about making sure bills are paid on time and keeping the pocket money until my next check direct deposits. Luckily I do have a job that keeps us above water, but it would be nice to have a little extra for myself. It's been three years and I am the only parent who knows what it means to sacrifice. When you are raising kids on your own without a partner, your personal finances are constantly on your mind. Especially without a supplemental income like child support
Being a single mom is exhausting, overwhelming, scary, and full of sacrifice. One thing I sacrificed a lot of my first year as a single mom was sleep, and still doing it till this day. My kids are sleeping through the night, but we still have the occasional colds, bad dreams, or just plain ole early rising.
I try to get a nap when I'm working from home, at least 30 to 40 minutes before picking the kids up from daycare. Naps are essential for any mom because it allows us to recharge.
I Hate Being a Single Mom, But I LOVE My Life
Some days I feel like a failure, other days, I know I got this shit. I have the motivation and more than enough love to give my children everything that they need. Some days I still question if I'll still have the drive to get up tomorrow and do this all over again. It is my love for them and their love for me that drives me to be the best mama I can.
There will always be days where you'll feel like giving up. Remember that you have the smile, kiss and tender touch they need to make everything okay. You are their sunshine and comfort. It is okay to feel all of these feelings and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. My advice to you will ALWAYS be to not dwell too much on what your children are missing. Yes, it would be nice to have the extra support, but I do believe everything happens for a reason.
I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on my blog I write about the challenges navigating life as a single mother while suffering with depression. I also provide tips to help with overwhelm and practical solutions for single parenting.