The Best Lessons That Single Motherhood Has Taught Me
Mother's Day is next week so in light of this glorious holiday dedicated to us mothers, I figured I would spill the beans on a few lessons I've learned in my 7 years of motherhood. What I've learned is that parenting requires a delicate balance. While we are the ones who set limits and impose on our domain, we are also the ones who must nourish in our child a strong, independent mind.
So much of what I've learned has been from my own experience. Of course, every mom has to find her own balance and find out what exactly works for her. Here are a few lessons that may help you through your journey!
Lessons I've Learned So Far
Our decisions and goals as parents will seem open to criticism from friends and family. They may nag at our parenting style and claim their methods to be the better way. We as mothers are attuned to our children's needs and abilities, so we need to believe in our judgment.
To have patience, but not too much patience
I have to remember that a certain amount of acting up is a regular part of growing up. I try to keep in mind to not react to every situation with a hot head and quick punishment. Nowadays, when my children act up, I count to ten and try to approach the situation calmly, and handle the situation firmly.
On the other hand, we cannot afford to be too patient when it come to our children's future. Their years build upon each other, and as their mother, I must see to it that none are thrown away in my desire to be patient. BUT, for now, I will try to enjoy their youth to the fullest.
To plan for the future
What a huge influence we have on our children's lives! Alert and attentive, we monitor our children's thinking process and help to shape a positive self-image. As mothers, we have an obligation to help our children prepare for the real world. Good habits can make or break their chances.
When we send our children into the world, let's make sure we prepared them well. Our guidance can make all the difference. We have to have faith that our guidance and support are having a positive impact, even if it's not so obvious right now.
It's okay to take naps
In the hectic pace of our lives, taking naps can be the first thing pushed aside for laundry, dishes, homework, or any of our daily task. These days we as mothers, especially my single mama's, need a stockpile of ways to distress, like doing things to regain our balance and focus. Before I lose it with my children, even when I'm trying not to, I try to get at least an hour of downtime for myself. This is usually while their napping.
Having children involves nonstop demands on our mental, physical, even emotional energy. Taking the time and space we need to recharge helps us be better moms. Plus our children will appreciate and love our good mood. No matter how full my day is, I promise to at least take an hour to myself to take a breath and relax.
It's okay to let the house go
Now I'm not saying be a total slob, but it is okay to not be on top of household chores everyday. There's never enough time in the day when you have work, help kids with homework, get dinner set, laundry, and your own homework, if you're taking classes. When you just think about that to-do list, you can get discouraged and overwhelmed. Break up your chore list in sections to keep yourself from crashing.
It's okay to put me first
Mother's can not afford to get so depressed that we become immobilized; been there, done that. We need to continue to partake in things that bring us joy. We get so stuck in parenting, it can help to tune out for awhile and let all the anxieties go.
As stated in my post, "Sick and Tired of Feeling Guilty", these days I'm learning how important and somewhat essential it is to be a little selfish. My advice to all mothers is to learn to be okay with doing things that are just for you.
Still Learning Lessons
All in all, as a mom who is living with depression, motherhood has been the hardest journey by far, and some days I feel like I'm failing. But little by little I'm learning it's not the failure I'm feeling, it's some over perfectionism in there. What I've learned from this is my children are not expecting anything from me, but unconditional love. What I've failed to realize is that I'm already their number one superhero!
I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on my blog I write about the challenges navigating life as a single mother while suffering with depression. I also provide tips to help with overwhelm and practical solutions for single parenting.