How Single Moms Can Have a Healthy Sex Life

Why is it okay for a single father to date or just have sex, but it is highly frowned upon for the mother? Does the world truly believe we should ALWAYS be home taking care of our little ones? Little does everyone who is NOT a single mom knows that you can have a perfectly healthy and safe sex life as a single mom.

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Society often shames single moms when it comes to sex. As if every single mom is promiscuous and gives it up to every man she meets. That is slut-shaming we are dealing with here. Single moms should not have a sex life when the reality is that there is nothing wrong with it. 

Why is it okay for a single father to date or just have sex, but it is highly frowned upon for the mother? Does the world truly believe we should ALWAYS be home taking care of our little ones? Little does everyone who is NOT a single mom knows that you can have a perfectly healthy and safe sex life as a single mom.

single mother dating

Being a single mom with a healthy sex life is neither a crime or a sin. It certainly does not make us a "hoe" for wanting to date. Honestly, why is our sex life any concern to the world around us anyway? What happens in the bedroom, should stay in the bedroom. Now here comes the slut-shaming. Old fashion thinkers who say "well you've had your chance" or "Save it for your next marriage, not the next boyfriend" or even better, " If you would have kept your legs closed you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place". 

Even I have to disagree with this. As long the mother doesn't bring every man she sleeps with around the child, being sexually active is perfectly fine. Especially for the child's safety and to not give him the wrong impression of his mother. We also just have to know the difference between Mr. Right Now and Mr. Long Term. 

 

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Single mom dating problems

We go through a lot already. Some of us are left raising our kids on our own, and the others are left co-parenting with their ex. It's understandable for us to feel lonely and want to seek companionship. Why should we only be "allowed" to stay home with our children? 

I call BS. It's completely unrealistic for someone to believe that once the mother separates from their children's father, that she abstain from sex until her next marriage. She can date, but sex is something that is between man and wife? While that is okay for some women, because that is THEIR choice, many other women will have sex with the man they are currently dating.  In today's world, many millennial's and non-millennial's choose to engage in non-marital sex. For some, it's a choice of preference, others between what it right and wrong. 

SINGLE MOTHER DATING RULES

single mother dating rules

Being a dating single mom with a sex life does not make you promiscuous.  I really don't understand how people can think this way. As long as you are being safe, and protecting yourself, having sex is perfectly fine. You don't have to become a spinster and wait around for your empty nest just because you have children now.

Society seems very uncomfortable acknowledging the fact that single moms have sex too. That once we become moms, well single moms, we place our vagina under lock and key until our next courtship. Well little do they know, that sometimes the road to Mr. Right is far and few in between. We are still human. We want and still crave intimacy. 

 

Is He Mr. Long Term or Mr. Right Now?

For the safety our kids we do need to ask ourselves this question. That is if you let Mr. Right Now over while the kids are home and they just happen to see him. Come on let's face it, not every guy you date is Mr. Long Term.

I dated a guy a met on Tinder last year, who I knew after our first date that he was a Mr. Right Now, yet I kept seeing him anyway. He was fun, and I haven't dated anyone, but my kids' father up until that point so there was no harm in it. Because I knew this I never let him meet the kids, hell we barely even talked about them, and that wasn't because I was ashamed. I enjoyed being in the company of being around him, being able to engage in adult conversation, and going out.

SINGLE MOM DATING PROBLEMS

In my utmost honest opinion, it really is no one's business who you are having sex with.  Other than the fact that you are a mom, you are a single woman who has the right to a have a sex life. You pay your own bills, do a damn good job at raising your kids, and all your other ducks seem to be in a row then go for it!

My only advice is to be safe and know your partners' sexual history to protect you. If you're just at a time in your life where Mr. Right Now is working for you then great. Just keep the Mr. Right Now part of your life separate from the kids. Like having him over when they're gone. Keep the discussions about any guy you meet strictly for your girls and when it's something seriously bring your kids up to speed. Just be safe and set limits.


Hello!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.